“Why are you the way you are?”
the question resounded in my ears, my heart sinking at the thought itself. Some questions are better left unanswered.
TRUST, a thread that binds the human race is the most questionable aspect of all times. And it doesn’t surprise that even today the basics revolve around these 5 letters, only if we could understand. TRUST is treated as that glass which does gives an aesthetic appearance to the relation we cherish. We admire, we appreciate and we respect.
But a time comes when the picture goes dull; the glass loses its luster. Thanks to the new throwaway culture we don’t think twice to scrap everything, I mean everything. The trust which was once an asset suddenly becomes a specter. Within a second the relation becomes pabulum. Emotions walk out of the door and what enters later is food for thought. Till the crack appears we enjoy what is being served. We forget everything and everyone; family and home become distant for us. But as the castle of sand collapses we become nostomaniac.
But what happens when the trust is broken by family? Do we long for our home or do we run away from our abode? It was some 14 years ago that the misery engulfed my entire life. The web of lies, betrayal and hypocrisy enveloped my existence. I trusted, I loved, I wanted to encompass everything around me, but I was laughed at by my merciless fate. I was back stabbed by a person who was family. Every year would be a resolution for some, every vacation a photographic memory. But not for me. Every year was an adventure, every vacation a nightmare. Holidays were never exciting. They brought with them the despondency.
They had the feet of clay which always made them slip. I learnt a crucial lesson then. Being an introvert could never share my views with anyone, rather would soak all the bitterness in my heart. While growing up, books were my companions more than friends. I grew up with words than people around. I never traveled places but my mind wandered to the places the books took me to.
With time the wounds have healed. The people who were supposedly family, matter no more to me. They themselves lost their position in my life. They chose to fall down from the pedestal on which they were seated. It’s not only me who suffered, its them too. They may realize that later in their life, at a juncture where no one will hold their hand. They may look up to us for help, but will the estrangement allow us to hold them again? I doubt.
The past is gone, the scars still remain.There are incidences that remind me of the pain now and then. I may appear to be aloof, to be detached but give me once one reason to gain that broken fragment of my life that is TRUST.
Trust is a piece of glass, once broken pricks us somewhere. Never break it, coz it’s the sole reason that is responsible for the relation to be sustained in all circumstances. Never play with anybody, not even your family. Who knows they may not be able to bear the pain you inflict upon them. Be a mediator, not a receiver. Get both the sides of coin clear, who knows you may find the way out.
To break the labyrinth you need to be highly skilled (remember arjun?). Just to enter it is not intelligent; to come out of it is genius. To end this piece of writing all I would say is never take people for granted, you never know they may abandon you. You will get what you give. I’ll give them, what they gave me. It’s not being rude, it’s not being inhuman, it’s just that am settling the accounts.